The wind was blowing from the east today, and on it’s gentle currents rode a subtle suggestion of change.  I will not waver in my duties to this universe, for I feel the job I do is invaluable.  I know I’ll be appreciated in a time when stars are pit stops rather than destinations.  However I am cursed to live in a time, where the triumphs of men are drowned out by the blaring of rock music, and the ringing of cellular phones.  In order to gain the attention of the short-sited, ignorant mortals of earth, one must do something drastic.

Any ideas?

I spent most of the day trying to think of a way to become more noticeable.  So what does one do to be noticed these days?  The first thing that came to mind was to change my name.  I was trying to decide between “Dusty Rhodes” and “Hiro Protagonist” when my roommate came home.  He suggested “Johnny Dick” and “Johnny Urethra”.  At times I wonder where he finds the mental capacity to draw breath.

Of course I couldn’t let his insults go un-avenged, so I christened him “Mo Lester” and started taking cheap shots at his sexuality.  He came back with “Johnny Penis”, and “Johnny One Ball”.  I couldn’t contain my laughter.  Our battle of wit vs. git escalated past words and into some friendly rib-rubs and charlie-horses.  Then it went up three more levels.  I don’t want to go into details, but I’ve washed my hands 5 times, and I still can’t get rid of the smell.

I’d have to say he won the battle (although his use of chemical warfare broke all conventions), but with my last breath of fresh air, I swore I would immortalize him in literature.  So let the world be introduced to my roommate, henceforth referred to as Mo Lester.  He’ll live to regret the day he challenged my pen with his…  unmentionables.

famous crocodile wrestler

-hornbell